After the storm – 11 things I learned after a break up

1. I am allowed to be blonde 

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During my relationship, no hair changes were to be made without the significant consent of significant other. Some called it controlling, I called it love (pssshtt). My hair was to remain dark and that was the end of discussion. As a singleton my hair changes as much as my mood, blonde today, pink tomorrow?

2. I am the master of my own body 

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My ex-boyfriend was a part-time model and as occupational hazards had he was fit, athletic and gorgeous. In turn, I was to uphold a standard of my own, if I were a kilogram over the acceptable weight line he owned the right to call me “tubby”. I now have now learned I am the master of my own body , I can eat as many pizzas as I damn well please an dhow much I choose to dedicate my life to the gym- my body, my business!!

3. Where was this money at?

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Often, after break-ups, many men have more money since they pay for two -BAH- wrong! I finally have money to spend on me and not shared dinners, popcorn at the movies, the dress he approves of…it’s mine, all mine!!! bahahaha (I feel I may be experiencing a slight heightening of crazy in my single days). …ooohhh shoes!!!

4. I actually have friends

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I was so lost in the planning of “our” weekends that I had never dedicated time for MY weekends. I loved the time we spent together as a couple but now I appreciate that weekends are my own to spend with people who love me regardless of my flaws, my friends, who were often forgotten in the turmoil of a romance but still remain in the after-effects of the break up storm.

5. I discovered family

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When heartbreaks are done and the world begins to be a little lonelier, there are a group of people who are a constant. My family. In my tearful outbursts and overly-ecstatic reactions they remain a pillar of my spirit and a building block forward towards the person I want to be.

6. Heels, glorious, heels

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As a fairly tall individual, I often have to contemplate what shoes to wear on dates and whether my heels are too high or not. I now have the freedom to were stilts and not have to be overly concerned about whether or not my partner feel emasculated due to a pair of heels.

7. I may not know what I want, But I know what I don’t want

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I do not have a boyfriend checklist – tall, dark, handsome etc. In fact, I often just like the person for an unusual reason and I don’t know what that reason is. I may not know what I want in a person, but I’ve learned what I don’t want and it is an important lesson to learn.

8. Wait!! Someone finds me attractive?

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So long was I a girlfriend that the only drink ever bought for me was from my significant other. Nowadays every time someone buys me a drink or pays me a compliment, I am stunned… someone finds me attractive? How did that happen Pssht who cares? You have my permission to carry on.

9. I do not need your permission

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In a relationship I often have to ask the permission of my significant other to do a great number of things, and I usually end up apologizing profusely if I had not. For example, if I decided I need to fly out to another country just to clear my mind a bit, I’d need to ask permission, discuss why I need to get away, fight about the relationship and my ungratefulness and then remain were I was to maintain the safety of my relationship. And don’t get me started on the addition of a new tattoo. NO MORE! I do not need your permission… for anything.

10. The freedom of my wardrobe

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My exes favourite outfit on me was jeans, sneakers and white tank top or a LBD. Now while I like those outfit ideas I’m a girl of boho tastes, loose skirts, backless dresses and off-the shoulder tops – none of which was approved. I now have my narnia, a wardrobe full of possibilities and nobody to restrict me.

11. Not a plus one

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No longer are invites addressed to me as “plus one”, I have learned I have a name! And it ends up on invites eeek. NO longer am I a nameless entity attached to another person. There is a joy in that, oddly enough.

* All images found on pinterest.com

The curse of the bad kiss

Is there anything worse than a bad kiss? Now I’m well aware that this topic is not new nor is it particularly unheard of, in fact I’m sure if I googled bad kissing an endless queue of blogs, articles and pictures are bound to come up. The list of bad kisses is endless; from the over-enthusiastic tongues resembling washing machines, to the lizard like movements of another and then the gaping hole where nothing happens but the lips do not stop moving ?! All of which confuse me to endless bounds, how is it that some men just do not know how?!?! But the worst kiss of all must be the one you wish would work. Let me elaborate;

There was a man who I was completely in lust with, his features resembled those of a Greek statue brought to life by perfection itself. His thoughts were so intriguing that I was almost was completely hypnotized by his every syllable and while I thought I stood no chance ( I do believe he is way out of my league) he asked me to come away with him and I did. Tension built between the two of us and thoughts of unsure nature soon took over. An hour into our trip and the kiss was done… But something was off; his kiss.
Oh how I willed Our kiss to be that of the most romantic films, of stories untold and passions unfolded…instead it was average, completely and irreversibly average…and I found myself unsure how to feel. Although he still intrigues me and I think of him often I have decided That for me is the worst kind of kiss; the wishful one, the one that was meant to be electric that passerbys would feel it just as intensely

And it just isn’t.

Dear mister one night stand

It was fun, but don’t call…this may seem weird and strange as most woman have tendencies of over attaching themselves after sex (or so I’ve heard) but I don’t.

I want to tell you, you were good…for the night. And no I don’t believe I care about your dreams or ambitions, your bank accounts or social circle, I’m not even sure I recall your name. As cruel as it may sound I don’t care for you at all. Just thank you for what I needed last night, sex with a stranger- a faceless man who I wouldn’t need to worry about the next day but in the moment was fully focused on pleasing him as he was me.

In case you were wondering, I am not pregnant nor did I leave anything of value at your place in hope of visiting again.
I gave you my number before it had happened and although it is sweet your messages throughout the weeks have been unnecessary, I’m alright, I’m ok and thank you once again.

You didn’t expect it I see… a detached human being caught up in the moment of lust and maybe that’s why you are intrigued, I’ve hardly heard of one night stands being invited out for dinner on several occasions (although I do reject them all). We won’t do dinner, I don’t care for the activity much anyway.

So thank you mister one night, but remain there as you will; an itch I needed scratched, much love and don’t contact me again.

Your truly
Dating dilemmas of a fashionista

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