Technology: the villain 

  
I’m a great fan of technology, the way in which it connects people from one dimension to another and its allowance to be in constant contact with anyone in the world without tedious efforts or extensive procedures.
However, technology has a dark side, like someone in batman once said ” you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain.” Such was the case when I was casually scrolling through my various platforms of media ( I admit, I have far too many apps and social media pages ) and while checking LinkedIn (out of all pages) I mistakenly (honestly, this time) touched my exes page (damn touch screens! Damn iPads! And damn super sensitivity!). All of which is fine, except LinkedIn has a super awesome (dripping with sarcasm right here) feature that sends every person a notification as to who looked at their page… I died! 
I’m afraid to say I’ve seen technology become the villain, why had I not given it up sooner and allowed It to bask in the glorious-ness of being an all-connecting hero, why???? …but no! Instead I click just anything.

You’re welcome ex of mine, now spend your day thinking that I was thinking of you. My pleasure (I won’t lie, I am finding it funny as well) 

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“Don’t worry, the right one will come along.” 


It is peculiar that when you’re in a relationship there is no question as to why you are in one, unless you constantly complain out loud, and even then there is suitable defense for it. However, should you find yourself happily swimming in the single pool, your single lifestyle is questioned beginning with why and then ending on a “don’t worry, the right one will come along”, and often said by strangers, people of the unknown who have no clue who I am or why I am (entitled much?).

Wait! I wasn’t worried. At all! I was having fun swimming along the single pool much like Dory and enjoying the adventures that were bestowed upon my path….now I have to worry? I’m confused.

Yes, I would like a relationship at some point, but with a degree almost completed, a fashion internship that is just beginning and a renewed passion for outdoor activities and sport ( best I look good naked, me thinks), I can’t say it is my number one priority, nor can I say I was worried about it.

Thank you stranger, you have added a dimension to dating I wasn’t aware of, but I refuse to immerse myself in your world of worry and instead, like Dory, I shall just keep swimming thanks.

Sparks, fireworks and a sizzle 


I sparked! For real! Now, a spark with someone is that cosmic moment where the world falls into utter chaos around you but you’re standing still and it all makes sense (I have a slight flair for the dramatic, I admit). In this moment things are infinite, problems are obsolete and the heart begins to thaw from its icy cavern.

This was the case one evening when I went to my local watering hole after a long and tedious exam period. He was tall, handsome and charming…and, of course, I dismissed him the minute he said hi (must be some sort of a defense mechanism). However ,my friend would not stand for it and somehow got him to join our social circle. We spoke a bit, laughed and danced. Add a bit of whiskey and I was smitten. But, this was nothing compared to the kiss goodnight; that parting moment when you’re unsure whether you will ever get to see this person again, and so we kissed. And boy! Did we kiss!

That’s when the spark turned into a freaking firework display of such a grand magnitude Gatsby would be jealous (wow, I’m full of cliches today – I suppose there is a reason they are cliches). We parted, and the thought of him lingers…. Hmmm, I wonder if I will hear from sparky ever again?

On your marks, get sex, GO! 


There are those dates that finally make you believe in the betterment of humanity, as if all asshole reactions and dimensions cease to exist and, in that moment, a future with a man seems possible.
The words flow in cohesions, laughter is contagious and there is an enchantment in the interaction between two once strangers. A familiarity is developed and you’re excited for the untapped potential.

Days, turn into more days, and the conversation goes from flirtatious to ” what are you wearing?”, “send a pic ;)”, “ooh, you took a bath, hoping for a pic” , now I’m all for a bit of suggestion but sometimes I wish people could just get to know each other without them first. I’m no prude by any definition of the word, but within me, lies a traditional spirit that longs for an interactions beyond the physical realm.

This was the case of Mr. accountant. While accountants have a notorious reputation for lack of personality, this one had an abundance of it. It was fantastic, one drink turned into two and conversations were memorable. I kept him on a friendly level, and simply enjoyed his company. Then one evening, I’m assuming he was drunk, I get messages of a sexual tone. This would be alright I suppose, if we had been sexual, we had not. In a culture of hook-ups and a fuck and chuck mentality, I’m finding interactions to lose meaning and have found I treat every man the same. Once the sexual messages were sent I was no longer interested, little did he know if he had not I probably would have (if you know what I mean).

Sometimes I think, it’s easier to just have sex and stop trying to get to know these men especially if they’re looking for one thing (by the way, letting me know that’s all you want from me makes life way easier).

So on your marks, get sex, GO!

Is Christina Yang my spirit animal ?

There is a certain sentimentality that comes when one is with another human being. Except I’m not sure this feeling I am able to feel. Maybe the heartache of a relationship past is so severe that the heart/brain does not allow for any amount of attachment or maybe I’m simply not wired that way..

As I lie in the arms of my friend one night (side note: I have a habit of calling the men I’m involved with friends, although I kiss them…a lot. They are all well aware of the fact that I call them just friends, and that I give myself, and them, the complete freedom to see other people. How this functions? I don’t honestly know. But somehow it does)….anyway, as I lie in the Arms of my ‘friend’ one night I find myself completely emotionally unattached to him, while physically we have great chemistry I don’t find myself jealous at the conversation of another girl or on any level wishing that he were mine… I find this very odd.

Will I manage to care one day? Is it me? Or is it the case of just finding the right one? Or maybe I’m the Christina Yang of the world?

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(Ummm don’t cuddle me)

“No, sir, I do not have daddy issues.”

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(Ummm…maybe not)

Clubs and bars are the birth place and breeding grounds for pick up lines, lonely individuals awaiting a drink offer or men on the prowl (just as much as women I dare say). Where women have fantasies of meeting the one (secretly of course) and men have fantasies of their next erotic conquest (mostly ruined by the fact that too much whiskey makes for a most unattractive man).

I find myself at my local watering hole not very often, but when I do, oh boy! Am I duly entertained and am even more socially awkward than I care to admit…Let me explain:

It’s a Friday evening and I’ve decided that means a girl friend and me simply must go out dancing ( she is in a relationship and loves a night out with female companions whilst I love that she is not on aforementioned prowl and we can actually dance). I wore sky high heels (that puts me a great deal taller than most), black jeans and a backless floral top and approach the dance floor with extreme confidence. In my entanglement of whiskey, sweat and dancing I was approached by a significantly older man who offered me a drink, which I had to decline more out of the fact that I had just purchased a full glass of whiskey than of actual rejection, and told him he can enjoy his night furthermore ( a polite thank you and goodbye gesture on my behalf).

However, this did not deter the old sod (I’m speaking about a man in his healthy 60s where I remain firmly aged in the 20s category), he remained in place watching my friend and I dance for about 90 minutes, and as soon as my drink had reached the bottom had pounced like a lion in the Serengeti to the offer of another.

I simply couldn’t, I had decided that if I had said yes to this drink I may lead him on into thinking I’m interested, instead in a moment of alcohol induced panic I responded , “no thank you sir I don’t have daddy issues”. Needless to say the gentleman walked away and I self diagnosed myself with “foot-in-mouth disease” …. But hey what else was I meant to do?

Make love

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(Image from : http://steinerkd.tumblr.com/post/60300005294)

Just a little something I found browsing my endless list of articles, quotes and passages, and thought maybe, if I loved it, I would share it and see if you do too.

“Make love
Like you have no
Secrets
Like you’ve
Never been
Left
Never been
Hurt
Like the world
Don’t owe you a
Single
Wretched
Thing.”
– Warson Shire

Two guys. One line

“I haven’t had sex in so long” … This Said during or right after sex with me… By two separate men.
Do I have a sign above my head for the desperately sexless? Or am I a well of purified mineral water in the middle of drought-filled desert? Am I a slag?

Truth be told, I was attracted to both and it didn’t take me to long to slip into the sheets with either of them, was it my easiness that made them say this or is my honesty and abrupt nature a gateway to “everything goes”? Was it a compliment or an insult? Or maybe it’s a case of two great minds think alike?

And before you start saying I’m over-analyzing…I know I am. Im often not analytical in nature at all. In fact I most likely to forget anything said than to analyze it. But this line – said by two different (completely and utterly different) individuals- got me stumped.

I suppose unless I sprout a male gene or ask them directly I won’t know the answer. Hmmm the answer to that and how the pyramids were built…

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(Image from: http://zsazsabellagio.blogspot.com/)