Ghost of relationship’s past

http://potd.pdnonline.com/2011/01/8043The dearly departed are often glorified after their deaths, where once he was a “drunk uncle” he becomes the “life of the party”, and where she was once “manipulating and lying” she becomes “creative, with a way with words.” Whether it is because we, as a human race, feel guilt, shame or our final respects, we do tend to make those who have passed away a shade brighter in their death.

This got me thinking; does the same phenomenon happen in the passing of a relationship? Do we glorify the memories of the relationship that once was in order to numb the pain of the events leading up to its annihilation?

Do we forget the ghosts of relationship’s past?

We insist on running back into the burning room of our hearts, our former relationships, and are adamant in searching through the ashes to revive something that no longer is. We fall asleep to dream of our dearly departed relationships only to awaken with the sting of a fresh heartbreak.

Is it an attempt to feel again, even if it’s an altered memory?

Personally, I think a part of it is that we glorify our former emotions and memories in order to remind ourselves that we did love, and sometimes loved intensely, and the part of us that allowed us to love another refuses to let go of the ability to do so in the future. Maybe, the holding onto our memories allows us to, somehow, let go of the heartbreak and remember things (or people) as they deserve to be remembered; in fairness and in love.

So, to the emotions I once felt:  promise I shall feel you again in all your glory when the time is right.

The mystery of the pyramids…and the heart

http://www.hplyrikz.com/
http://www.hplyrikz.com/

When searching for a reason for most mysteries in life I often am disappointed with absence of an answer. I suppose that is the thing about mysteries: most will always remain in the black holes of time. However, from the mysteries of the Egyptian pyramids to those of the mind, none is more mysterious or unsolvable than the reasoning of the human emotion.

Love is a four letter word that has countless pieces written in its tribute. I think it is only fair that, in turn, I dedicate an entry to this almost unexplained sensation. The difficulty in writing this piece is not the lack of knowledge towards the subject but rather the lack of a decent idea on how to describe the emotion without a clichéd, cheesy description.

My love is a complicated one; it is filled with care, kindness and dependence but twisted on the outskirts with a hint of jealousy, a pinch of mistrust and a tiny dose of life’s betrayals. For me, to love is most difficult, but to love me, is even worse. With a somewhat warped and conflicted character I battle to balance the want for freedom with the need for a constant being. I’m attention-seeking yet distant, fun yet disconnected, but with all this I love. A constant tug of war between my hardness and softness, my want to enwrapped in the arms in another and my need for freedom, my insane fear of commitment and the fear of loneliness.

While reading over my description, one is almost drawn immediately to the sense of desperation while I try most hard to avoid it. You see, my love is real, my love is whole and my love is complicated. I cannot explain why.

That is where my mystery is given birth to and my curiosity for reason is aroused.

WOW! this is going to make dating easier...NOT
WOW! this is going to make dating easier…NOT

The curse of the bad kiss

Is there anything worse than a bad kiss? Now I’m well aware that this topic is not new nor is it particularly unheard of, in fact I’m sure if I googled bad kissing an endless queue of blogs, articles and pictures are bound to come up. The list of bad kisses is endless; from the over-enthusiastic tongues resembling washing machines, to the lizard like movements of another and then the gaping hole where nothing happens but the lips do not stop moving ?! All of which confuse me to endless bounds, how is it that some men just do not know how?!?! But the worst kiss of all must be the one you wish would work. Let me elaborate;

There was a man who I was completely in lust with, his features resembled those of a Greek statue brought to life by perfection itself. His thoughts were so intriguing that I was almost was completely hypnotized by his every syllable and while I thought I stood no chance ( I do believe he is way out of my league) he asked me to come away with him and I did. Tension built between the two of us and thoughts of unsure nature soon took over. An hour into our trip and the kiss was done… But something was off; his kiss.
Oh how I willed Our kiss to be that of the most romantic films, of stories untold and passions unfolded…instead it was average, completely and irreversibly average…and I found myself unsure how to feel. Although he still intrigues me and I think of him often I have decided That for me is the worst kind of kiss; the wishful one, the one that was meant to be electric that passerbys would feel it just as intensely

And it just isn’t.